Confused

Heto na naman ako. Confused kung kaninong story ba dapat ang tatapusin ko. Disorganized kasi si me. Iyong tipong mahiling magsimula ng mga bagay tapos sa kalagitnaan ay mawawalan na ng idea or mawawalan ng drive para tapusin. That's me. What can I do? This is how I was hard-wired to be. It's like every cell in my body says I'm disorganized. Sad. Well, here goes my plans. Baka sakaling makatulong sa akin to write this down and broadcast this to the world. I don't see how it can help as of now but maybe someday, I will. :D 

I usually talk to myself as I do brainstorming so don't be surprised if this entry is full of decision-making, confusions and so on and so forth. Again, it's just me.

Unang-una sinubukan kong ayusin ang kwento ni Ego. May point nga naman ang editor na mas maganda daw ang first submission ko. Iyon nga lang, tingin ko hindi ako magaling sa flash forward effect. At kulang sa foreshadowing and such kaya iyong conflict nila ay magulo. Malabo nga din ang feelings ng girl kung mahal ba talaga niya si Ego or what. Hindi nabigyan ng chance ang mga bida na ma-develop sa isa't isa. So I planned to change it. Since umalis na ako sa project namin nina Ate Corne, mas mabibigyan ko na ng tamang direction ang kwento nila. 

I changed the heroine's name to Jandi, short for Jandiola. Haha. Parang ako lang. I feel mas bagay sila ni Ego kaysa kay Fanny before. What I plan to do is darating sa point na magkakasundo sila. May act of bravery from Ego at iyon ang magiging dahilan for Jandi to see him in a different light. Na ang lalaking akala niya ay walang ibang pangarap kundi sirain ang buhay niya ay may maganda din naman palang qualities. Hindi lang niya napansin iyon noon because she was busy trying to impress campus heartthrob, Richard Oxford. 

Kailangan ko na lang isipin ngayon kung anong klaseng act of bravery ang gagawin ni Ego. At kung kaninong POV ang gagamitin ko sa eksenang iyon. Tama kaya na habang hinihintay ni Jandi ang sundo niya ay may mga lalaking nagbabalak na gumawa sa kanya ng masama? Then Ego would enter and save her. Hmn. What else? Reasonable naman kaya ang scenario na ito? Justifiable? Oh crap. I can't think of a better idea. Tsk. If ***** was here, I wonder kung ano ang isa-suggest niya? Malaki ang naitulong niya for me to finish Cray's story. But now that I'm alone, it's kind of confusing on how I should proceed. There has to be a way for them to get together and settle their differences. Iyong tipong hindi pilit na interaction. Iyong magiging natural lang lahat. 

Could they work on a project together kaya kahit ayaw ni Jandi ay wala siyang choice kundi pakisamahan si Ego? Hmn. Pwede rin. No need for Ego to face the bad guys and beat them or be beaten in the end. Masyadong paawa effect kapag ganon. Since high school sila pareho, they could actually work on a project. Right. Perfect. Now iisipin ko na lang kung anong klaseng project ba ang gagawin nila. It has to be enormous. Something big that both of them needed to work on. Ano nga ba ang mga projects namin noong high school? Nah. I have to be updated with the latest. Old school much na iyong past project. Ang hindi lang siguro old school ay iyon mga kalokohan ko dati. hehe. I'm sure high school students still love to cut classes these days and make jamming with friends or tambay lang sa malls and other places. Fun but not a good example. :P

So what shall it be? Ang haba na ng sinulat ko but wala pang definite plan kung paano mag-proceed. What project and how long should it take? Kailangan final requirement iyon for a specific subject. Play ulit? haha. Maybe. Duet? Pwedeng may hidden talent pala si Jandi sa pagkanta pero insecure lang siya kaya hindi niya ipinapakita. Could be. What else? Mural painting? Nice. Then they could get paints all over themselves and play with the paints and laugh at their funny look. Hmn. Plausible pero hindi ganoon ang usong projects sa high school ngayon. More on IT-related. And since geek si Ego kaya madami siyang alam tungkol sa debugging ang such. Hays, naalala ko na naman si *****. Tsk. When it comes to programming, siya na. Siya na ang winner. Fine! 

So it's settled then huh? IT-related project. May ganoon kasing subject sa Ateneo de Davao eh so I just have to adopt it for my novel. At least it would look authentic since nasa technology age na tayo ngayon. And Jandi is more like me. We're not really tech-savvy and programming for us is a major headache. Kaya kailangan namin maging mabait kay Ego para matapos ang project namin at mabigyan kami ng magandang grade sa finals. Then Jandi's dad would be proud of her. But she would be more grateful to Ego. Dahil sa panahong nakasama niya ito habang gumagawa sila ng project, mas nakikilala niya at mas naikukumpara niya ito kay Richard Oxford. Richard is more on pa-cute lang sa mga girls while Ego has more substance than him. Besides, naipaliwanag naman na nito sa kanya that the only reason why he loved to piss her off before was only to get her attention. Dahil sa sinabi nito ay na-evaluate din niya ang kanyang sarili. Na siguro nga snob siya kaya hindi ito makalapit sa kanya unless he would try hard to ruin her day. Come to think of it, si Sheena lang ang close friend niya sa klase nila. That could explain why Ego went to so much trouble para lang mapansin niya. Dahil sa realization na iyon, she tried hard to be more friendly. This is where character development would take place. The story should end na pareho silang may growth factor sa kani-kanilang personality. Both of them learned from each other. Both of them would forgive each other for their flaws. 

Okay, it's time to call the shots. Wish me luck.

~janikka