Writing Dilemma

I can't help it if I'm paranoid right now. Who wouldn't? I just got confirmation from the publishing house that they received my manuscript early this morning although it would take a month before they will give any feedback. *Sigh*

I love my work. I give it my best shot. I am confident about what I write and how I do it but hey, who am I kidding? It's not for me to decide whether my work would be approved or not. I told myself last night that after submitting Meant To Be My Hero, I'd get it off my head. I'd turn off the Edit Mode in me. I'd stop thinking about any part that I missed, or of possible comments I'd receive from the publishing house. I still have a pending revision to take care of and I'd better start working on it before my creative juices run out.

But for the life of me, I just can't rest until I hear any new about MTBMH. Argh! Talk about being totally paranoid. Is it wrong to feel this way? Isn't this a normal feeling? I was optimistic until the day I sent the manuscript. That's when my dilemma started. I can't help but feel insecure all over again. Who wouldn't? After two rejection slips--enough to deflate my ego--, who would be very happy about it?

But don't get me wrong. It doesn't mean I stopped writing after two R slips. I didn't. I went on. And Meant To Be My Hero is the product of it. My new baby. I just wish they wouldn't kill my characters. :(

It's the reason why I cannot continue revising Rain In My Summer Now. I plan on changing it's title soon. I haven't decided which one will fit though.

Poor me.